Cats vs. Dog 

Cats vs. Dog

A very wacky acquaintance of mine one Eric Blobson (I don't use real names either) has taken up the dogs vs. cats debate and I thought I would throw my two sense in. I've heard all the jokes and arguments there are(like the "so many cats so few recipes" and "I like cats; they taste like chicken" lines) Frankly, though I'm not a fan of cats. Most house cats a fat, lazy, and annoying. But, I must make a confession; I have a cat (or at least my family does) His name, coincidentally, is Sam. (no relation to the Sam we all know and are annoyed by, although now that I think about it they probably have matching IQs) In fact, right now Sam is sprawled out on the floor half asleep and have looking at me inquisitively wondering what in the world I'm doing. Anyway, back to the argument. Put it flat out, Sam is stupid. Yea....I said stupid. Allow me to demonstrate. Sam is fascinated by water. He enjoys hopping on the sink and watching the water flow as you wash your hands; he likes to peer into the toilet as its flushing; he loves to sit and watch the dog's water bowl; and sometimes he's brave enough to jump into the shower right before your ready to turn it on. I don't have too much problem with this fascination (after all we all need a hobby here and there), however there is one problem - Sam is terrified of water. Being the caring guardian that I am, I tried to cure him of this fear or at least end his fascination with this hobby of his; so, I snapped into action.
To be continued....

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Comments

Comment Cats rule dogs drool! Dogs=dirty cats=clean Most of the dirty and sloppy people I know are dog owners. This says it all. Face the truth dog owners!!!! 1. Independence: Dogs have none. They must be leashed and accompanied by their owners whenever they leave the house. I think this is a control issue with male dog owners, a sure sign of immaturity. Cats are free to come and go as they please, trusted by their owners to exhibit proper behavior and return home without the need of constant supervision. It takes a well-adjusted adult to allow this unrestricted freedom. 2. Self Sufficiency: When a dog, on a supervise walk, decides it's time to relieve himself, the owner is bound by law to scoop up the results. Now, I don't know about you, but this doesn't strike me as a sign of machismo. Of course, dog owners have options; them can let the canine do his business in the back yard. The, Mr. Macho will not have to pick up a pile of processed food immediately. Flies anyone? Ever step in a pile of cat stuff? That's because they bury it in out-of-the-way places. Nice and neat. Bad weather? Cats will use a cat box. Dogs, well you figure it out. 3. Manners: Have you ever fed a dog? They have no control. They will eat everything you put in front of them. Give them too much food and they will gobble it up, get sick, then come back for more. Once again, you must control the mutt for his own good. The mess left behind by a hungry pooch looks like a college dorm after a food fight. Hey, look at the tough guy wiping kibble off his kitchen wall. Cats: Neat, clean, controlled. They'll be back for more when they are hungry. You must be very stable to own a cat. 4. Cleanliness: How often do you wash your cat? How often does your cat stink? Cats wash themselves. What a great idea! What's the matter macho man; got a little doggie soap in your eye? 5. Destructive Behavior: Visit the back yard of a person with a large dog. It looks like a war zone - holes everywhere, flowers destroyed, dead grass, mangled toys, and soiled patio furniture. When was the last time you were kept awake all night by a meowing cat? Behavioral problems are a given for dog owners. They do offer help for this problem. It's called dog obedience class. Guess what? There is no such thing as cat obedience class. I wonder why . . . Or is it because they have a long, wet, tongue? Get it???

Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:34 pm MST by Cat lady

Comment Dats rule dogs drool! Dogs=dirty cats=clean Most of the dirty and sloppy people I know are dog owners. This says it all. Face the truth dog owners!!!! 1. Independence: Dogs have none. They must be leashed and accompanied by their owners whenever they leave the house. I think this is a control issue with male dog owners, a sure sign of immaturity. Cats are free to come and go as they please, trusted by their owners to exhibit proper behavior and return home without the need of constant supervision. It takes a well-adjusted adult to allow this unrestricted freedom. 2. Self Sufficiency: When a dog, on a supervise walk, decides it's time to relieve himself, the owner is bound by law to scoop up the results. Now, I don't know about you, but this doesn't strike me as a sign of machismo. Of course, dog owners have options; them can let the canine do his business in the back yard. The, Mr. Macho will not have to pick up a pile of processed food immediately. Flies anyone? Ever step in a pile of cat stuff? That's because they bury it in out-of-the-way places. Nice and neat. Bad weather? Cats will use a cat box. Dogs, well you figure it out. 3. Manners: Have you ever fed a dog? They have no control. They will eat everything you put in front of them. Give them too much food and they will gobble it up, get sick, then come back for more. Once again, you must control the mutt for his own good. The mess left behind by a hungry pooch looks like a college dorm after a food fight. Hey, look at the tough guy wiping kibble off his kitchen wall. Cats: Neat, clean, controlled. They'll be back for more when they are hungry. You must be very stable to own a cat. 4. Cleanliness: How often do you wash your cat? How often does your cat stink? Cats wash themselves. What a great idea! What's the matter macho man; got a little doggie soap in your eye? 5. Destructive Behavior: Visit the back yard of a person with a large dog. It looks like a war zone - holes everywhere, flowers destroyed, dead grass, mangled toys, and soiled patio furniture. When was the last time you were kept awake all night by a meowing cat? Behavioral problems are a given for dog owners. They do offer help for this problem. It's called dog obedience class. Guess what? There is no such thing as cat obedience class. I wonder why . . . Or is it because they have a long, wet, tongue? Get it???

Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:33 pm MST by Cat lady

Comment cats rule dogs drool. Men are like dogs, you have to pick up after them. Dogs: bark, shit in the public, SMELL!!! attack, UNPREDICTABLE I have never heard of a baby being mauled by a domestic cat. Sit!, Roll over! Play dead! Do this do that.

Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:19 pm MST by Jane

Comment SA BE MO GAN MO KUNG BEAR NE DERWIN

Thu Mar 3, 2005 1:32 am MST by SARA

Comment ILOVE U CHISTAN

Thu Mar 3, 2005 1:31 am MST by ian

Comment WHAT IS WITH CALLING ME ANNOYING? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF I AM ANNOYING? YOU HAVE A LOWER IQ THAN THIS SAM GUY (WHOEVER HE IS)DO YOU KNOW WHO i AM? i DON'T EITHER SO HA. bYE

Wed Aug 27, 2003 8:41 am MST by Unkown

Comment why is it called cats vs. dog if there is nothing about the dog in the whole entry? You better mention something good about a dog when you continue this...um...interesting story. (P.S.)If you're stupid enough to email this address...truly...get a life.

Mon Aug 25, 2003 7:48 am MST by cat hater

Comment i'm scared

Sun Aug 24, 2003 11:00 am MST by Joe boxer

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